Are You Self-Regulated? Find Out

Do you feel:

frequently irritable or anxious

lethargic or depressed

jumpy or hyperactive

spacey or confused

If so, it’s likely your nervous system is dysregulated. This will have to change. To have a happier life, you will need to become more self-regulated.

What Is Self-Regulation?

Self-regulation is the ability to modify arousal levels and adjust emotions to stay in control in challenging situations and to function in life roles and relationships.

In a self-regulated state:

You are neither hyper-aroused, and anxious and jumpy, nor hypo-aroused, and bored and lethargic. Rather, you are in a comfortable “just right” middle place.

You regulate arousal levels to match the situation at hand and attend to your needs. If you want to relax, you might want your arousal level low. If you need to respond to an emergency or play pickle ball, you want your arousal level high.

You move smoothly between low and high states of arousal, from sleepiness to agitation.

You are better able to manage and recover from challenges, cope with daily stressors, build healthy relationships, and regulate emotions.

You are more confident and secure that you can navigate the world in the ways you choose because you feel safe in your body.

How Self-Regulation Plays Out

Movement & Balance:

You feel:

more grounded, expansive, graceful, and alive in your body;

more comfortable with bodily sensations and

more in tune with interoceptive (internal body) cues.

You have firmer muscle tone, and a more upright body, giving you easier mobility that makes you more motivated to move your body.

You have greater capacity for sexual intimacy.

Sensory:

You have greater ease in touching and being touched,

Greater tolerance of ambient noise, bright lights, and sunlight.

Emotional:

You show a broader range of emotions and are better able to modulate emotions.

You are more self-aware, more self-compassionate, and use more positive self-talk.

You are more upbeat.

You are more able to self-soothe.

You have better coping strategies to modify behavior, and to transition from one place, one activity to another.

Social:

You are more adept at reading facial expressions, better able to make eye contact, and more engaged and in sync with others.

You are more interdependent, and more capable of intimacy.

You have greater reciprocity, making you better able to take other’s perspective.

Mental:

You are better able to organize space, tasks, environment, and time.

You possess clearer, more articulate language, and have greater communicative competence.

You are more focused; possess better working memory; are more on task; show more self-directed attention; and are better at problem solving and decision making.

Identity:

You have greater autonomy and independence and a more authentic sense of self.

You have healthier self-esteem and are more comfortable with sense of self.

Your life should be designed, consciously, day by day, month by month, year by year to embrace a lifestyle that furthers self-regulation in all these areas.